Short Post, Not Really

My thoughts and everything else in these couple of days are disoriented and unorganized.

I want to write down everything in my mind, to make them permanent, but sometimes, things are better forgotten, even if they're very valuable.

In my uncle's house using my cousin's laptop right now while everybody else is watching some old movie starring 许冠杰 and 许冠文. Ian and Sijun are having a happy chat near me. I tried to chat and I failed. Again.

After all these years I'm still the uncool girl who can't make up a short conversation or crack up a simple joke.

But I'm okay. 16 years of ignorance taught me how to get used to this kind of social life. I know it's important -correction, crucial- that I must know how to communicate with others without involving awkward silences but then, to me, all these are unnecessary. Yes, I don't really need them so much, despite what you say Vi.

And being quiet during discussions are good. You don't make a fool out of yourself and you get to listen to people's stupid comments. Plus, sometimes they don't notice you sitting in the corner deep in thoughts nearby and they start talking about bad things about you and you get to listen to all of them.

Flipped through the photo album today. Everyone is photogenic, all but me. See that's the negative part about not being able to smile naturally in front of camera lens, you get the memories captured forever but they look awful.

Little by little, I'm having a total makeover. My ambitions, thoughts, looks and everything are changing gradually. I realised that it doesn't matter that I'm a nobody while I'm being a child or a teen. One day, years later, Huiyi will no longer be the girl with the nerdy glasses and nerdy looks and nerdy style.

Going to 通宵later. Over and out.

XOXO,

Huiyi

Been Doing A Lot Of Thinking

Well, it's the only thing you can do while you're standing and staring out into space.

Been thinking about a lot of stuff. Like:

• I don't have any strong points but 我的办事能力强 and I prefer office work so I'm better off being an accountant. =)
• If I'm ever having a wedding, it'll be in Vegas. And I'm inviting everyone I know and knew, even those from high school.
• If I ever have children, they're so not going to be blonds. Not that I'm prejudice against them -maybe a little- but no way Asians have blond kids.
• If what WQ said is true -that I'm going to U with her in USA- then the Vegas thing will be easy.
• not telling you ;)

Bro downloaded Renegade -I remember the most amusing line I heard on it "You're going to face a whole crew by yourself?!" "It doesn't seem fair, doesn't it? Maybe I should shoot left-handed." - through BitTorrent and now my sis is trying to download The Sims 3. 5.62GB is going to take FOREVER.

2 weeks at work and I'm kinda used to it already. Haven't read any books since 2 weeks ago and I'm starting to worry about Form 5. The 1st monthly test includes the few last chapters of Form 4 so I'll probably be dead by March. Really, why is all the worst things of the year happen during my birthday month? And most of the time, 23rd of March?

By the way, I can't go to the airport tomorrow for Suen Rong so if you're going please tell her 祝你一路顺风 on my behalf. TQ.

Do charity while improving your vocabulary. It's actually quite nice, and fun too. The best part is, it's free!



XOXO,
Huiyi




p.s. 12 megapixel, 26mm wide angle lens and a 4GB microSD card for RM499, good huh?

p.p.s I'm in <3 with Neyo. =D

Still Working, Please Come

Working All Day

I trade my Tuesday for Sunday. I'm supposed to work on Sunday but I gave the sick excuse so tomorrow more work.

And yeah, I'm still sick.

While everyone is busy fighting boredom at home, I'm busy fighting boredom at work. Most of the time I just stand there or take a few steps around just to pass the 8 hours time.

I feel so sinful for wasting all those time on nothing.

Not going anywhere this holiday. Heck I never go anywhere on holidays except for my grandpa's house. Not going to PC fair because I've got work and more work to do -standing-. People get RM5 for just standing but I have to write a lot of reports and believe me, they're A LOT.

Plus I'm not allowed to bring books.

And I just found out my PCI is 8X. =(
Never mind if you don't know what I mean.



Oh yeah, I promised someone to write about this.

Good things about new moon:

• The wolves are hot.
• Taylor Lautner is hot, hot, hot.
  
  
  
• Dakota Fanning looks stunning as Jane. Really. She gets my vote as the best actress of the movie.

Bad things about new moon:

• Bella didn't die. (I HATE HER.)
  
• Edward didn't die. (I don't really hate him but I hate Robert.)
  
• Robert Pattinson doesn't know how to act.
• And he doesn't even have muscles. The scene where he took off his shirt shows draw-on muscles, which nearly make me laugh out loud in the cinema.
• Too much kissing. But thank God none of those involve Taylor Lautner.

Gee, this post is so 乱.



XOXO,
Huiyi



p.s. Malays are actually much, much nicer than Chinese. They smile all the time. They don't say OMG, but they say Ya Allah so often that I want to laugh. And they are not so 挑剔 , unlike Chinese.


p.p.s This song is nice.

Lunch Time

My house's just a KM away from the store so yeah, convenient.

Some of the songs the store keep replaying. (Everyday they repeat some radio show dedicated to stores twice a day. I can practically memorized all the songs -there's Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat ;) - , even the Indian ones. -_-"')







XOXO,
Huiyi

I Drink 5 Litres Of Water A Day But Still

The 2nd wave of H1N1 hit Bukit Mertajam again.

Just kidding. But my whole family except my dad are sick. Me the worst.

My throat is so dry that I have the urge to stick my hand in there and scrap whatever stuff which are not suppose to exist in someone's throat.

It's killing me.

I took the next day off. Maybe I'll do some Add Maths -my once least favourite subject can really keep me occupied so I can forget everything on earth- or sleep the whole day.

I'm very stressed out. The pressure and work plus the sickness. Right now, I'm wearing my thickest jacket and long pants meant for sports, I forgot the name of the pants.

Nothing really matters to me anymore. I'll just try to stay alive until...until the day I'm not alive.




Be happy. Don't take up a job that involves idiotic old women and clothes.



XOXO,
Huiyi

No Luck In Everything

This job is hard I tell you. HARD.


Not only there's limited kinds of clothes, they're also quite fugly and only Malays wear them. Not being a racist but who else in the world would wear a plain elbow-length sleeve T-shirt with a very simple yet stupid pattern at the front? It costs RM13-RM19 and I'd only buy it if it's less than RM5.

So it's not my fault if no one actually comes to even have a glance on the clothes.

Really I don't care about the sales whatsoever. But I do care about my poor legs. The bitchy SMJDs not only have to comment on whatever I do (plus they have to ask me whether any clothes are sold when they know very well that I just punched my card 5 minutes ago and none are sold) but also took the only chair so the 3 bitchy bitches can gather around and chit-chat, leaving me standing and walking around. But whatever, I do everything better alone. When it comes to lunch or dinner time, I walk out of the store alone and eat whatever I want alone. I use only a quarter of the 1 hour meal time because I don't go around and chat with people here and there since I don't know and don't want to know any of them.

I became a lone ranger.

I saw quite a lot jitsinese there, but only a glance or so. I'm really hoping that somehow, a miracle happen, and then my friends from JSHS would come and have a chat with me so I don't have to scribble secretly in my temporary journal. (I do that all the time when I'm mad or feel like hitting the idiots -colleagues or customers- in their faces.

Oh, have I mention that I just got really sick -physically- today? And it's only the 4th day of my work? And that they pay me only RM3.20 per hour?

Bye bye Canon.

Bye bye life. (And that's not because I have to say bye bye to Canon.)


XOXO,
Huiyi


p.s. You won't see me around these days. I'll just pop around twice a month or so. Don't miss me. I know you won't.

Don't Get The Wrong Idea

I was quite stunned when I check my cbox. Really, you guys, especially Vi, totally misunderstood what I meant. (See? I told you I suck at expressing feelings.)

violetj28: ARE U ****ING KIDDING???!!! I ****ING CARES, ALRIGHT???!! I WOULD PRACTICALLY ASKED ALL GALS UR SIZE

Okay, anything regarding my size NEVER crossed my mind.I know you care, but I'm talking about something ELSE, not the poem competition.

violetj28: wouldn't hv asked eveyone ur size, just to find u the right attire... AND WTF praises??? WTF DOES
violetj28: poem reciting has to do wif singing???? NOBODY ****ing blames ****ing anyone, and u din't do anythin

If you can sing, you can change your 音调. If you cannot sing, you cannot change your 音调. If you cannot change your 音调, you can't recite a poem.
And I can't sing.
I know I didn't do anything, which is why I feel upset. I'm upset because I'm not contributing a lot.
The praising thing...it's about someone else.

violetj28: ****ing failed!!!!!!!! for ****'s sake!! hy, is this some sorta break down you want me to actually f
violetj28: eel right now... i mean, every time of all, now??? u seriously need to know that we r treated
violetj28: EQUALLY, FOR ****'S SAKE, I WAS ****ING THERE, ALRIGHT???

People are discriminated based on a lot of criteria, and one of them is ability, which I don't possess. I'm the one who's breaking down, not you. And yeah, I now you're there.

violetj28: FOR ONCE IN UR LIFE.. b grateful!

I'm never ungrateful. I'm grateful you guys didn't kick me out because I can't recite. Sometimes I hate myself for being too grateful to others and make myself a slave to them just because they pick up my pen for me.



------

Okay, so we got champion. We met 章瑛. End of story.


XOXO,
Huiyi

I Don't Know

I'm confused.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now.

How do you feel when you do something, nobody cares; and then ANOTHER does the exact same thing, he/she gets all the praises.

How do you feel when you can never sing (In other words, you don't have a proper voice and your tone is plain flat.) and then someone pushes you up to the stage to recite a poem along with people who CAN SING (In other words, they have a proper voice which allows them to change their tone.) in front of ALL the English teachers?

I don't know. Should I be happy? Or should I cry?

Despite all the "You're going to be fine."s, I still want to cry.

Really, I want to cry so badly. Tears are gathering behind my eyes. I want to get them out but I can't. It's really painful, emotionally.

I can't do this. But why do you force me to do it? And then blame it all on me when I failed to do so?

Why is everyone doing this to me?

I don't think I'm fine. I just want to curl up and die.




Huiyi

Just A Video I FInd Amusing

XOXO,
Huiyi

Facebook LOL

XOXO,
Huiyi

YAY

When I was turning on the pc, I was going to start a new entry with a very emo sentence. Then Violet called.

Then I freaked out.

YAY-WE-GOT-INTO-THE-POEM-WRITING-FINALS-WE'RE-SO-GOING-TO-WIN-ALL-RIGHT!

I need to cool down. And massage my ears. Vi's yelling and cheering loudly in the phone hurt my ears.


==============


Debate.

Everything's fine, until Darren spoke. I forgot the exact words, but it's something about telling the madam speaker -that's me- to disagree with today's motion. I was stunned, so I look at Lini. She nodded.

I wrote furiously on my test pad: I can't disagree NOR agree you dumb sucker.

And he became the best speaker. His team won too.

O.o

I don't know what to say.



XOXO,
Huiyi






p.s. We got into the finals!!!

Songs

Lady GaGa's songs are quite nice. Just don't watch her MVs.











--Influenced by my mum.



XOXO,
Huiyi

Today

If I were to rate today's mood according to PH value, I'd say around 5-6. Am trying to be quiet and peaceful like the old man with long beard who sits on the top of the mountain, who surprises the hikers every time.


=====



If I were to describe myself today with a word, it's "pokkai".

Immediately after school my mum drove me to Jusco to return the books which I never read (but still I borrow more). After browsing everything in Popular, I bought some macadamia ice-cream @ Baskin Robbins. Wonder what came over me. The last time (And the first) I bought ice-cream there is 6 years ago.

Then a large fries at McD. I got home, took a bath, open the brown bag and found out that the fries became, I don't know, non-crunchy?

Life is slow. Until you found your destiny or whatever, life continues in small paces.



XOXO,
Huiyi

Sunday

I'm getting emotionally weaker and weaker. Right now, while I'm typing this, I'm drying my tears with my sleeve.

You know how it feels when nothing worked out? Absolutely nothing? You might know, but I doubt it.

Thanks to my petite height, Xuyan yells or smacks or just kick me whenever he have the chance just to show that he's cool for getting to kick his elder sis's butt. That just sucks. And the worse thing is, to everyone, everything's my fault.

My fault.

I don't talk much for fear of offending others but seems like whatever I do, people will get offended in a way.

I am filled with hatred right now.





No XOXOs,
Huiyi

It's Terrible

Something happened to my grandpa. My 92-years-old-but-still-likes-to-do-gardening grandpa.

He fell down.

The doctor said there's a lump of blood in his brain, but then they cannot remove it through surgery because he's too old.

My grandpa never wanted to be old. He never admits it.

All his children, 3 aunts, 4 uncles and of course, my dad, rushed to Kulim. I went there yesterday and I'm going there again today and maybe tomorrow too. Even my jolly uncle is coming back from China and most probably he'll bring his baby son. The baby has to see his grandpa or else...

Things are getting a little chaotic in our family. Ah Gong, 92, lying in bed in a hospital.

Somehow, I cannot imagine.

Gotta go, wish my grandpa luck. He have to live on until I'm 30.


XOXO,
Huiyi

Bye Bye Bye Form Five

So I didn't go to school. But graduate ceremony is none of my business so what's the point of attending anyway? Sitting at the back of the hall trying to see WTH's going on on the stage and getting your view blocked when every F5 is standing there singing songs and crying and hugging each other? No, not for me.

Besides, my mum doesn't want to send me to school. “很麻烦。” is what she said.

I will miss the F5 seniors (Okay, only some but still.) , especially those from TC. Okay, so they were quite harsh to me when I grab the mic and start blabbering, but they're very nice. Not missing the seniors from Taekwondo and School News because they don't give a damn about me and I don't give a damn about them.

I miss everyone. You guys are awesome when exam or marks are not involved.

XOXO,
Huiyi


p.s. I might (Repeat, I might.) get a job in Billion. One of the employess there had to ask 5 times whether I'm really 16. (My mum doubted too after being asked for 3 times.) If I pass, you might see me frying nuggets there. The guy said the work is on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, 1.30pm to 10.30 pm, possibly RM40 a day. It's a lot compared to those who stand by the clothes racks (I saw quite a few JitSinese there.) but then you only work for 3 days a week. Oh well, beggers can't be choosers.

有一种怀念的感觉

I Found Something On Wattpad, Again

50 WAYS TO CONFUSE, WORRY, OR JUST SCARE THE BEJEEZUS
OUT OF THE PEOPLE IN THE COMPUTER LAB

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.
10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Enter the lab,undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."
16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
17. "DISK FIGHT!!!"
18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).
19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.
22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.
23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.
24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.
25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.
26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to grinding. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.
27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.
28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on you desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.
29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.
30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.
31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.
33. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.
35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it.
36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.
37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.
38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire
word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting
Ha!" Print out your document and leave.
40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects put some Elmer's Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)
41. Stare at the person's next to yours screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.
44. See who's on-line. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang-up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.
45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.
46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.
48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week".
50. Two words: Tesla Coil.



=======================================


Things to do in a drive through

Walk through
Order a quarter pounder, a half pounder, a pounder, and a 5 pounder. When they tell u they only have quarter pounders say something like "I'm taking my business elsewhere". Come back 5 minutes later.
DO NOT drive through to the next window
Act like your some Mafia guy and say something like "I want 5 burgers in a paper bag. You have 24 hours... And to show you we mean business you have 3 minutes."
Go on a bicycle
Do previous, except with a few friends. you must ride in front of them. When you get close to the window yell to them "hey you kids, shut up back there or I'm turning this car right around and were going home !!!"
Stay as far from the window as you can
When it comes time to pay them say "OK your money should be ready in about 5 minutes. Please go over to the waiting area."
Order food, pay, then speed away without taking your food. laugh manically.
Order in 3rd person
Pay with only pennies. Count them out 1 at a time.
If at Taco Bell say "yo queiro" before everything you order ( yo queiro a chicken supreme)
If at Mcdonalds say mc before everything (ie: I would mclike a mcburger and mcfries...)
Order things from other restaurants (go to mcdonalds and order a whopper ) when they tell u its not possible, give them an angry look and say "I said do it!!"
Do previous, except with alcoholic beverages.
Ask the employees what they would like.
Go on a hunger strike.
Order your meals "for here" then park your car in the middle of the lane and eat.
Tell them to hold the bun.
Get out and wash your car in the drive through lane.
Pretend u have an imaginary friend beside u. ask them what they would like then say "we'll have...
Say romantic things to the ordering machine.
Order really unspecific things like: " meat with bun and drink" then drive thru before they can say anything.
Bang on the ordering machine and yell "stupid thing ate my quarter!"
Drive through and say that you're "just browsing"
Tell them to wait while u ask the person in the trunk what they are ordering.
Specifically order your meal "To go!"



XOXO,
Huiyi

I Just Want A Nice Nap

Deleted my previous post. If you didn't see it, good.



I'm not going to provoke anyone this time, but I'm just saying, DON'T YELL OR SQUEAL OR SING OR YODEL IN CLASS WHEN OTHERS ARE HAVING THEIR NAPS IN CLASS.

And people don't yell OR squeal when they're playing chess. My dad said people are supposed to be quiet.



There, nicely done.



XOXO,
Huiyi